Life is in the Details

I've never been the most attentive when it comes to details. So often they seem trivial and I'm more of an "All's well that ends well" kind of guy as it is. I'd like to think that as I've gotten older I've learned to focus more on those details in order to make sure that important things aren't missed and that I can be successful in my endeavors.

From time to time I realize I've still got a ways to go.

I've been studying hard for the LSAT for the last month or so and it is going pretty well. One of the main things that is stressed is the aforementioned attention to detail. Many of the passages on the test hinge on one particular word and it is therefore very important to read carefully and not to miss anything. The reading comprehension section has been particularly difficult and as I've been looking for ways to improve, I'm realizing that I just need to read more carefully. Simple enough.

I was talking to a friend of mine at work today and was asking him if he is nervous about Saturday, as he will also be taking the test with me. "No. Why would I be?" "You know. The test." "Uh, the test is on Monday."

So much for being more attentive. Mere days before taking the biggest test of my life, I realized that I had misread the date and was planning on taking the test on the wrong date. Whoops. I guess its better than realizing it was two days earlier than I planned. On the plus side, it looks like next Monday will be a half day at work!

Is it just me or does this not bode well for me on the test? Lets hope its not a harbinger of things to come. Yikes.

Just Do It

Some of my loyal readers might remember a post a while back about a love of going to the gym. Without getting into too many details, let me just state that the author of that post is no longer with the company. In his place is a man who has visited Arby's far more over the past year than he has the gym. Various reasons exist for this lack of working out, but to be clear, one of the stronger ones is laziness. Shocking, I know.

It is easy to fall out of a good habit. It usually starts with reasons that are legit, but before you know it, any old reason is good enough to avoid something you don't want to do. Well, I am here to say enough is enough. No more flab, and no more excuses. I weighed myself at the gym yesterday and I tipped the scale at a less than solid 207 pounds. When I was working out consistently, I was usually between 195 and 200 pounds. Is that a goal I hear forming on the horizon? Indeed.

I was talking with some friends a few days ago and I brought up the idea of a biggest loser challenge among the group. I think I only got one taker, but I am accepting the challenge myself regardless of other's motivations and here it is: I will be down to at least 197 when February ends. Very simple, very clear. I will lose 10 pounds in 28 days. This will not be done by altering my diet, which I seem to be incapable of doing. This will literally be done by running the weight off.

Anybody with me to lose weight in February? How about a different health goal during that same time period? I'm in no matter what, but there is plenty of room on this bandwagon. Just let me know and I will follow up with you to see how it's going. This will be a magical month.

Let the games begin.

Smile for the Camera

There are definitely moments in my life when I realize that I am making a rather smooth and disturbing transition into oldmanhood. Don't get me wrong, I am still just as immature as I ever was. I eat like a 12 year old who was given free reign at the mall food court, have a difficult time going to bed before 1am even though I have to be at work at 730am, and clean my room about 3 times a year. However, as I sit here editing home movies from my video camera, I realize I am no longer a child.

On a recent trip to Bear Lake with friends, I was the one with the video camera forcing others to perform and otherwise just be uncomfortable as I filmed them, all in the name of future posterity. I remember my dad doing the exact same thing as I was growing up, wondering why he wouldn't just put that thing away and let us enjoy our holiday, or vacation or whatever was going on. "You'll appreciate it when you're older," was the token reply when pleas were made to shut the camera off. I remember very similar conversations taking place at Bear Lake as I continued to film our hanging out to the chagrin of all present. (Video will be uploaded as soon as I figure out how to edit them. Look forward to a very exciting fall on the ice caught wonderfully on film.)

The next step is very clear. I will soon be purchasing khaki shorts and basketball tube socks to be worn with sneakers and a tucked in tshirt. This will become my vacation uniform, in honor of dads all across America. In doing so I will be blazing a trail for all males making that inevitable transition, but doing so single in an arena so often reserved for married men.

I've always considered myself a pioneer. Now, we are all witnesses.

Public Service Announcement: Please Hire This Man!

I consider myself a generous person. In fact, it’s one of my greatest attributes, along with my luscious tan. This is why I have decided to adopt the charity case of one Jefferson Dickamore. (If you are a potential employer, please immediately skip to second to last paragraph.) Jeff is currently unemployed. He is an aspiring actor and is looking for his big break. But to be quite blunt, his life could not be any more of a struggle. Just listen to what some of his friends have recently said about him when asked what they thought of Jeff:

“Jeff? Wow. Where to begin. I knew he was destined to be a drain on society from the day I met him. I’m actually surprised it’s taken him this long to join the ranks of the unemployed. Didn’t he just get out of rehab?”- Cindy Ford

“I actually talked the people at Teach for America into giving him a pity acceptance, and he turned it down. What a loser! I can tell you this much: there is one less classroom in America with a scraggly, below par teacher destroying young minds thanks to that declined invitation.”- Deanna Roark

“Jeff has been hitting on me for years and it’s kind of pathetic. I just wish he would leave me alone.”- Jill Crane

“I was Jeff’s TA as an undergrad and I could not have been more disappointed. He really brought underachieving to an entirely new level. True, he did get the highest score in the class, but by one measly percent? Give me a break.”- Professor Darren Hinton

“I can’t even tell you how disappointed I am in him.”- President Barack Obama

“I took Jeff on a charity date a few years ago, but it was only on a dare. I just felt sorry for him.”- Janna Siler

“Jeff Dickamore? I’d hit that.”- Rachel Quada
-----Editors note. Not sure Rachel really understood the question.

As you can see, Jeff needs all the help he can get. So lets all make a deal to get his name out there. Start talking him up around the water cooler. My loyal flock of readers has the juice to get this man a job, and maybe even a date. Scratch that. We need to be realistic. Let’s just focus on the job. Below is his resume:

Jeff is awesome. Please give him a job. He is polite, hard working, and rarely ever flies into fits of rage. He is an excellent dancer, particularly if it involves his favorite artist, Lady Gaga. Need to impress potential clients? Look no further. Jeff is more than willing to bust out his award winning parlor tricks for the amusement of others. These talents include yodeling, three card monte and the best air guitar you’ve ever seen. Jeff is also great with kids. He has this candy they love, I think its called Ambien, and they are always so well behaved. Who knew kids could sleep so much? It is true that Jeff doesn’t have a lot of special skills, but he is more than willing to make up for it with tenacious energy and a can do attitude. Take a chance on him and you will not be disappointed. I would recommend quickly taking action, because this gem won’t be on the market for long.

Hopefully. (Fingers crossed.)

Wasting a shot at perfection

I can't even describe how disappointed I am that the Indianapolis Colts completely wasted the opportunity to complete an undefeated season and enter the record books as the only team to do so in the era of the 16 game season. With Peyton Manning and the starters in the game, the Colts took a 15-10 lead midway through the third quarter in yesterday's game. At that point, head coach Jim Caldwell determined that playing his starters, including the best quarterback in football 20 more minutes was just too risky. So he pulled the starters and the team proceeded to give up 19 unanswered points. The offense was so anemic that it actually cost the Colts points rather than earning them.

I have two main problems with this philosophy. The first is that I feel that the organization owed it to the fans to try for immortality. A perfect season would separate this team from all others that have won the Superbowl. The 1972 dolphins are the only team to win the Superbowl without a loss at any point in the season, and that was when the regular season was only 14 games. I respected the Patriots and Giants immensely two years ago when both teams played their starters the entire game in an otherwise meaningless season finale. It clearly didn't hurt either team, as both met for the Superbowl title 4 weeks later. There are so few times in sports when you have a chance to do something historic, and those opportunities need to be seized.

To me, this is like a pitcher intentionally walking a batter in the 9th inning of a perfect game because he doesn't want to surrender a hit. 250 or so no hitters have been thrown in the history of baseball; there have only been 18 perfect games. If you give up a hit in that situation, you tip your cap and hold you head high knowing that you have done your best and got beat.

Now, I understand the Colts didn't want their star players to get hurt, but if that's the case why did they play them at all? Shouldn't they have benched the starters last week when home field advantage was wrapped up? I don't understand their logic.

The second problem I have is that all along, the colts have presented their decision to rest starters as being based on the following false dichotomy: If they go for an undefeated season, the players would get worn down and they would lose in the playoffs and if they rested their starters during the season's remaining games, they would win the Superbowl. Does this sound ridiculous to anyone else? They already were getting a first round bye in the playoffs. That sounds a lot like rest to me. They are just as likely to lose in the playoffs now as they would have been if they played hard to the end.

Shame on them. I have adopted the Colts a step-team of sorts over the past decade since my team, the 49ers, hasn't been relevant. Despite this, I hope they lose in the playoffs. Sports karma is a powerful thing and I hope it comes back to bite them. You can't absolutely spit in the face of history, not to mention your fan base that wanted perfection, and have no repercussions.

I hope they get what's coming to them.

Even?

Well, as my dear Cynthia just reminded me, I did not post a blog before midnight this past week. I apologize for this, and ask her forgiveness. When Cindy left for Korea, I made her a deal that I would post a blog every week until she comes home next September. Failure to do so would result in me visiting her in Korea. The mistake was not realizing that since I'm home for Christmas break, I needed to post before Sunday, which is the day I usually do my posts.

Yesterday was a great but hectic day. My new niece was blessed in church as well as my dad, sister and brother teaching lessons in different wards, which we all attended. We all then were dinner guests at my brother's in laws and then my grandparents came over to visit and discuss, among other things, their burial plans. Yeah, kind of strange, but it actually turned out to be a very healthy conversation of life, death, and exactly how we remember those we love that have passed away. We had a wonderful visit, and they left our house at midnight. Family 1, blog 0.

Cindy, I propose the following: In the spirit of the Christmas season, I think you should forgive me this one time and give me a 10 hour reprieve for just this week. If it helps, you can consider us even for the two times you've blown me off for our skype and video chat dates. This also means that two blogs will be coming this week. I think this is an acceptable solution and I hope she agrees. Heaven knows I don't want to visit that horrible country, even if she is here. I think it would be much more fun to take a trip together to DC or New York when she gets back. I love you, Cindy, and hope you see fit to dispense mercy upon me in my time of need.

Call it even and go from here?

My Christmas Wish List: Friends and Celebrity Edition

After much thought about what I wanted for Christmas this year, I decided the deepest desire of my heart was to be a part of the season of giving. With that in mind, I bring you the things I would like Santa to bring my friends. (And a few notable famous people as well, just for good measure.)

Cindy Ford- A one-way plane ticket to Utah, so that she can leave the God forsaken country of Korea behind forever. Also the ability to follow through with appointments to chat.

Janna Siler- Nate Archibald in an Armani suit. Now I’m not even gay, but one or two drinks and I might even consider….. Wait, did I really just type that? Moving on.

Aaron Makdo- Great leaping ability, so that he can continue to jump on every bandwagon that comes along in professional sports.

Tiger Woods- A great retroactive prenup. Turns out if Tiger would have just kept the driver in the bag, he would have won more that just a few more majors.

Katie Duncan- An everpresent song lyric teleprompter. Also a giant bong so that she would be irresistable to Michael Phelps.

Kevin Tame- A title for one of his Seattle sports teams. At the very least, Seattle has been passed by Washington DC as the most pathetic sports town in America. That counts for something, right? And while we’re at it, may Howard Shultz, the CEO of Starbucks that sold the Sonics knowing they would be moved to Oklahoma City, fall from a 30 story building onto a bicycle with no seat.

Deanna Roark- To have access to a time warp machine that will let the next year and a half pass by in the blink of an eye, so she can be released from her Teach for America indentured servitude.TFA ruins lives. I also wish she had a plane ticket to Utah.

Jill Crane- The desire to practice law. If that doesn’t work, a rich husband that would make it so she doesn’t have to. And more bowling trophies and intramural championship t-shirts.

Aaron Rodgers and Randy Moss- A vicious beating followed by terrorists forcing them to watch the WNBA on loop for an entire year. You thought I was over the Fantasy Football collapse from last week? Not so much.

Rachel Quada- An endless supply of annoying EFY friends to take up her time and keep her from her much cooler friends. Wait a second. She already has that? Oh. Lets just go with Chuck Bass and an endless supply of diet coke in his G5.

Megan Shirk- Dozens of babies without having to put up with the grossness that is living with a man. Also, a competitive, sports loving guy with endless amounts of witty banter to be bffs with in nyc.

Tony John- Sleep in the upcoming year. Good luck.

Rachel Bodily- More clout at Georgetown, so she can get me into their law school. And a copy of Love Actually.

Tony Capone- An easy final semester of law school followed by a passing score on the bar exam. I also wish him the ability to cope with another Mets collapse in the upcoming season.

Barack Obama- The foresight never to visit Provo, Utah.

Dustin Currie- A vampire bite, so he won’t actually have to turn 30 next year.

Bethanie and Randon Tagg- A baby for Beth so she can quit her job. For Randon, a big screen TV so he can avoid the baby and stay caught up on sports.

Ben Jones- Fashion sense, lipo, and a new car. I’m just kidding. Ben already has a nice car.

Shannon Mehner- A new, red Ralph Lauren puffy coat so she can give me back the one she’s been borrowing for two years. And season tickets to the Cubs.

Collin Cummings- A continuous stream of creative ideas and infinite investment capital to get them going.

Jessica Alba- Me

Blake Griffin (not the famous one)- A tard free job, and a lifetime membership to blockbuster.

Lauren and Aaron Purcell- The desire to have their friends over for dinner more often and an immunity to the freezing bay area weather that they will shortly be faced with.

Logan Holman- Better looking girls in your singles ward. Can’t even make any jokes about that one. I’m praying for you.

Lauren Anderson- An endless supply of trails to bike, races to run, and mountains to climb.

Mark Skinner- That girl’s number from Red Robin a few weeks ago. Wait, maybe I just want that for myself. She was hot. I hope Mark finds a girl almost as hot.

Valerie Funk- A job in SLC and enough free time to listen to three volumes worth of scary stories.

Todd Richardson- A divorce from the horrible wench that is TFA. I’ll be a character witness if you need one in the settlement hearings.

Amy Sue Wilson- A buyer for her winter contract and feet that don’t even get remotely cold.

That's my list. If I missed anyone, better luck next year. Travel safe, and Merry Christmas!