Change We Can Believe In

I hate making decisions. Not only do I hate making them, but when I do, I make bad decisions. This is a problem for many reasons, the most important of which being that it seems like there are so many decisions that I need to be making these days: where to live, who to live with, what to do with my life, what to do short term, what to do long term, when to make my move on Janna, where to go to grad school, what to study, etc. Potentially, there is a whole platter of decisions that I can spill all over the proverbial customer’s lap.

I was watching a classic episode of Friends about a week ago and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. In the episode, Rachel tries to counter the fact that she makes terrible decisions by appointing Monica to make all of her decisions for her. This also corresponds with a great episode of Seinfeld. Hapless George has an epiphany where he realizes that every decision he has ever made has been wrong. He takes a different approach to the issue, and decides that all of his instincts are wrong, and that by doing the opposite of what he would normally do, he would effectively neutralize his bad judgment. This promptly lands him a beautiful woman and a front office job with the New York Yankees.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m ready to learn from the popular culture I have enjoyed for so long. No longer will I make all my decisions based on the sound advice of Oprah and those chatty women from the view. From here on out, I am taking a page out of the Book of Rachel and the Words of Costanza. Here’s what’s going to happen: I will be fielding open suggestions from anyone who has ideas on how I should proceed with my future. Fear not. No idea is too simple and no suggestion can be too ridiculous. Feel free to give short term as well as long term advice. I am willing to listen to anyone, as long as the idea does not originate in my head.

Now here is the tricky part. I have to decide which advice to take. This is where George comes in. Not only am I trying to avoid ever making another decision, a la Rachel Green, but on those rare occasions where a decision must be left to me, I will have to be ready to do the exact opposite of what would appear to be the correct choice. Difficult? Yes. But I’m committed to change. Just call me Barrack.

I need your help people. Me being in charge of my own life has been an utter disaster. With your help, I can make the progress that will lead me into the next phase of my life. Vote for change in ’08. Vote for my future.

Yes we can. Yes we can.