Wasting a shot at perfection

I can't even describe how disappointed I am that the Indianapolis Colts completely wasted the opportunity to complete an undefeated season and enter the record books as the only team to do so in the era of the 16 game season. With Peyton Manning and the starters in the game, the Colts took a 15-10 lead midway through the third quarter in yesterday's game. At that point, head coach Jim Caldwell determined that playing his starters, including the best quarterback in football 20 more minutes was just too risky. So he pulled the starters and the team proceeded to give up 19 unanswered points. The offense was so anemic that it actually cost the Colts points rather than earning them.

I have two main problems with this philosophy. The first is that I feel that the organization owed it to the fans to try for immortality. A perfect season would separate this team from all others that have won the Superbowl. The 1972 dolphins are the only team to win the Superbowl without a loss at any point in the season, and that was when the regular season was only 14 games. I respected the Patriots and Giants immensely two years ago when both teams played their starters the entire game in an otherwise meaningless season finale. It clearly didn't hurt either team, as both met for the Superbowl title 4 weeks later. There are so few times in sports when you have a chance to do something historic, and those opportunities need to be seized.

To me, this is like a pitcher intentionally walking a batter in the 9th inning of a perfect game because he doesn't want to surrender a hit. 250 or so no hitters have been thrown in the history of baseball; there have only been 18 perfect games. If you give up a hit in that situation, you tip your cap and hold you head high knowing that you have done your best and got beat.

Now, I understand the Colts didn't want their star players to get hurt, but if that's the case why did they play them at all? Shouldn't they have benched the starters last week when home field advantage was wrapped up? I don't understand their logic.

The second problem I have is that all along, the colts have presented their decision to rest starters as being based on the following false dichotomy: If they go for an undefeated season, the players would get worn down and they would lose in the playoffs and if they rested their starters during the season's remaining games, they would win the Superbowl. Does this sound ridiculous to anyone else? They already were getting a first round bye in the playoffs. That sounds a lot like rest to me. They are just as likely to lose in the playoffs now as they would have been if they played hard to the end.

Shame on them. I have adopted the Colts a step-team of sorts over the past decade since my team, the 49ers, hasn't been relevant. Despite this, I hope they lose in the playoffs. Sports karma is a powerful thing and I hope it comes back to bite them. You can't absolutely spit in the face of history, not to mention your fan base that wanted perfection, and have no repercussions.

I hope they get what's coming to them.

Even?

Well, as my dear Cynthia just reminded me, I did not post a blog before midnight this past week. I apologize for this, and ask her forgiveness. When Cindy left for Korea, I made her a deal that I would post a blog every week until she comes home next September. Failure to do so would result in me visiting her in Korea. The mistake was not realizing that since I'm home for Christmas break, I needed to post before Sunday, which is the day I usually do my posts.

Yesterday was a great but hectic day. My new niece was blessed in church as well as my dad, sister and brother teaching lessons in different wards, which we all attended. We all then were dinner guests at my brother's in laws and then my grandparents came over to visit and discuss, among other things, their burial plans. Yeah, kind of strange, but it actually turned out to be a very healthy conversation of life, death, and exactly how we remember those we love that have passed away. We had a wonderful visit, and they left our house at midnight. Family 1, blog 0.

Cindy, I propose the following: In the spirit of the Christmas season, I think you should forgive me this one time and give me a 10 hour reprieve for just this week. If it helps, you can consider us even for the two times you've blown me off for our skype and video chat dates. This also means that two blogs will be coming this week. I think this is an acceptable solution and I hope she agrees. Heaven knows I don't want to visit that horrible country, even if she is here. I think it would be much more fun to take a trip together to DC or New York when she gets back. I love you, Cindy, and hope you see fit to dispense mercy upon me in my time of need.

Call it even and go from here?

My Christmas Wish List: Friends and Celebrity Edition

After much thought about what I wanted for Christmas this year, I decided the deepest desire of my heart was to be a part of the season of giving. With that in mind, I bring you the things I would like Santa to bring my friends. (And a few notable famous people as well, just for good measure.)

Cindy Ford- A one-way plane ticket to Utah, so that she can leave the God forsaken country of Korea behind forever. Also the ability to follow through with appointments to chat.

Janna Siler- Nate Archibald in an Armani suit. Now I’m not even gay, but one or two drinks and I might even consider….. Wait, did I really just type that? Moving on.

Aaron Makdo- Great leaping ability, so that he can continue to jump on every bandwagon that comes along in professional sports.

Tiger Woods- A great retroactive prenup. Turns out if Tiger would have just kept the driver in the bag, he would have won more that just a few more majors.

Katie Duncan- An everpresent song lyric teleprompter. Also a giant bong so that she would be irresistable to Michael Phelps.

Kevin Tame- A title for one of his Seattle sports teams. At the very least, Seattle has been passed by Washington DC as the most pathetic sports town in America. That counts for something, right? And while we’re at it, may Howard Shultz, the CEO of Starbucks that sold the Sonics knowing they would be moved to Oklahoma City, fall from a 30 story building onto a bicycle with no seat.

Deanna Roark- To have access to a time warp machine that will let the next year and a half pass by in the blink of an eye, so she can be released from her Teach for America indentured servitude.TFA ruins lives. I also wish she had a plane ticket to Utah.

Jill Crane- The desire to practice law. If that doesn’t work, a rich husband that would make it so she doesn’t have to. And more bowling trophies and intramural championship t-shirts.

Aaron Rodgers and Randy Moss- A vicious beating followed by terrorists forcing them to watch the WNBA on loop for an entire year. You thought I was over the Fantasy Football collapse from last week? Not so much.

Rachel Quada- An endless supply of annoying EFY friends to take up her time and keep her from her much cooler friends. Wait a second. She already has that? Oh. Lets just go with Chuck Bass and an endless supply of diet coke in his G5.

Megan Shirk- Dozens of babies without having to put up with the grossness that is living with a man. Also, a competitive, sports loving guy with endless amounts of witty banter to be bffs with in nyc.

Tony John- Sleep in the upcoming year. Good luck.

Rachel Bodily- More clout at Georgetown, so she can get me into their law school. And a copy of Love Actually.

Tony Capone- An easy final semester of law school followed by a passing score on the bar exam. I also wish him the ability to cope with another Mets collapse in the upcoming season.

Barack Obama- The foresight never to visit Provo, Utah.

Dustin Currie- A vampire bite, so he won’t actually have to turn 30 next year.

Bethanie and Randon Tagg- A baby for Beth so she can quit her job. For Randon, a big screen TV so he can avoid the baby and stay caught up on sports.

Ben Jones- Fashion sense, lipo, and a new car. I’m just kidding. Ben already has a nice car.

Shannon Mehner- A new, red Ralph Lauren puffy coat so she can give me back the one she’s been borrowing for two years. And season tickets to the Cubs.

Collin Cummings- A continuous stream of creative ideas and infinite investment capital to get them going.

Jessica Alba- Me

Blake Griffin (not the famous one)- A tard free job, and a lifetime membership to blockbuster.

Lauren and Aaron Purcell- The desire to have their friends over for dinner more often and an immunity to the freezing bay area weather that they will shortly be faced with.

Logan Holman- Better looking girls in your singles ward. Can’t even make any jokes about that one. I’m praying for you.

Lauren Anderson- An endless supply of trails to bike, races to run, and mountains to climb.

Mark Skinner- That girl’s number from Red Robin a few weeks ago. Wait, maybe I just want that for myself. She was hot. I hope Mark finds a girl almost as hot.

Valerie Funk- A job in SLC and enough free time to listen to three volumes worth of scary stories.

Todd Richardson- A divorce from the horrible wench that is TFA. I’ll be a character witness if you need one in the settlement hearings.

Amy Sue Wilson- A buyer for her winter contract and feet that don’t even get remotely cold.

That's my list. If I missed anyone, better luck next year. Travel safe, and Merry Christmas!

Happy Effing Holidays

Not going to lie to you kids. This was not a great weekend. On Friday I found out that the shoulder surgery I had planned for my right shoulder this coming week might not be as simple as previously thought, and therefore might need to be moved back again. Yesterday, my car, after careful consideration of what to get me for Christmas finally decided on a good old fashioned kick in the balls. Merry Christmas, you get a new water pump and timing belt, all for low, low cost of 350 bucks. Son of a b. This has also left me walking around in the Provo slush for the past two days, leading to me stepping in a giant hidden puddle that went halfway up my leg as well as nearly slipping and falling roughly 7,218 times on my way to and from church today.

While trying to fix my car in the snow and slush, I received a call from my Elder’s Quorum President. He forgot to tell me but it was my week to teach Elder’s Quorum. Just go ahead and prepare a 45 minute lesson of your choice since we finished the book early. That’s no problem right? Oh, of course not, Toolshed. After all, it’s only 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in which I have plans for the rest of the day. Its not like church is at 9:25am or anything. Would you like anything else? A warm cooked meal perhaps? Maybe a foot rub? You just let me know.

All of this was only leading up to the real disaster. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a mild interest in sports, and occasionally like to be involved in the fantasy variety. It is currently the first round of the football playoffs. Our league does two weeks for each round of the playoffs, and this is the second week of the first round. My team is awesome. We have averaged 112 points per week for the past 8 weeks. The next closest team over that span averages 10 points a week less. Again, my team is awesome. To my utter dismay, someone must have alerted the members of my team and told them this was the weekend to get as many shots in on me as possible, because they capped the weekend off quite nicely. I figured even if they put up a bad week, I would be fine because I had built up a 23 point lead after the first week of playoffs, and my season low was set in the first week of the season at 82. Of course, my team puts up the ultimate stinkbomb, a season low 69 points and loses by 2. I will now proceed to smash my head into my desk repeatedly.

Maybe there is a lesson to be learned here. Maybe the cosmos is reaching out to me and trying to get my attention. Is there something I need to take away from this disastrous weekend from hell? Give me a second…… I think I’m picking up on something……. What is it? "F you, Darren. F. You. Darren." Thanks for that one, Universe. Merry Christmas to you too.

If anyone needs me, I will be broiling my head in the oven.

Winter Must Die

Well, the snow is finally here. Despite the fact that I live in Utah there is a part of me that always hopes winter will not come. Every year I think this might be the year that it just stays warm all year round, and every year like a punch to the gut it comes like a Napoleonic invasion.

I hate winter. Not sure if I’m in the minority on this one, but I do. Being cold is one of my least favorite feelings in the world, right up there with seeing Max Hall dropping back in the pocket against a ranked team. It’s weird because I have actually lived in cold weather climates for the past 10 years so you’d think I would get used to it but instead every winter seems colder than the last.

Winter also sucks because it doesn’t allow me to do any of the fun outdoor things I like to do, such as golf, baseball, laying by the pool and porching. True, Christmas is great and I do enjoy the occasional snowboarding, but it hurts my knees and is too expensive and cold to do on a regular basis. Not to mention the fact that my car would revolt if told it had to drive me up the mountain once a week. Not happening.

I think my hatred of winter is one of the reasons why I love baseball so much. When the baseball season starts, spring is finally emerging from its slumber and it literally feels like anything is possible. Each new baseball season brings the promise of a new beginning with spring vanquishing the horrible, gray, soul killing winter. Plus, there are games everyday, and I can testify that there is little in our lives that is in fact so dependable.

Even as the season is winding down, summer has just turned into fall, comfortably cooling things off and giving us one more taste of happiness before the deatheater’s kiss of winter arrives back in our lives. As a result of baseball being so closely tied with the seasons, I have been conditioned to know that if baseball is not being played, I am more than likely cold and miserable.

Now, I’m not a scientist, but I really think there is loads of promise to this whole global warming thing. If I understand the inventor of the internet correctly, we can actually influence the temperature by being careless with the way we pollute the atmosphere. Sounds like a plan! If we have been successful in doing this up until now, we need to keep going. Now is not the time to quit. The endless summer is well within our grasp. Will it screw things up for future generations? Not our problem. Besides, who wants to leave our posterity with the same freezing planet we now inhabit? Didn’t think so. Can we all commit to do our part? I sincerely hope so, because every little bit counts.

Let the games begin.